A forlorn feelings dangles over my head as I try to put my life in perspective. I thought I knew but I never really did. When everything comes barrelling to halt and the word hangs in the air like a dirty smog suffocating me, “divorce”.
I can’t believe he said it. I can’t believe how it made me feel. My heart sunk to my stomach. I think I am going to vomit.
I have been thinking separation for a while. But divorce? It just sounds so final. It is terrifying actually. A break maybe, try to find myself. See if I miss him, if I miss us. But I am not ready to just throw in the towel. A decade of my life I have put into this relationship and yes I may be having concerns at this point, but my mind is not made up.
All or nothing are my options. I feel I am being cheated. An ultimatum at this point is unfair. I guess I must dig deep into my subconscious and make a choice and take a step. Love it or leave it is what they say right.