I can’t believe he said it.

A forlorn feelings dangles over my head as I try to put my life in perspective.  I thought I knew but I never really did.  When everything comes barrelling to halt and the word hangs in the air like a dirty smog suffocating me, “divorce”.

I can’t believe he said it.  I can’t believe how it made me feel.  My heart sunk to my stomach.  I think I am going to vomit.

I have been thinking separation for a while.  But divorce? It just sounds so final.  It is terrifying actually.  A break maybe, try to find myself.  See if I miss him, if I miss us.  But I am not ready to just throw in the towel.  A decade of my life I have put into this relationship and yes I may be having concerns at this point, but my mind is not made up.

All or nothing are my options.  I feel I am being cheated.  An ultimatum at this point is unfair.  I guess I must dig deep into my subconscious and make a choice and take a step.  Love it or leave it is what they say right.



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